Sunday, June 08, 2008

Proud ~ Sad Day

Well it is official. My daughter has graduated from high school. I do not see how this can be possible.

It was just yesterday I was driving her to kindergarten, to presenting her dad on his police "motorcycle bike" to her first grade class, to go on a field trip in second grade, to praise her 3rd grade art work, to take her to a orthodontist in 4th grade, to having to explain about Santa in 5th, to see her transition to jr high in 6th, to figuring out her first locker in 7th, and the facts of life in 8th. It was just a moment ago that she had her first boyfriend in 9th, joining the yearbook staff in 10th, taking her first journalist win in a writing competition in 11th and now to graduate with high honors and awards in 12th.

And now in a few months, on m birthday to be exact, I must drive her several hundred miles away to go to college. The control freak mom must finally release control and have faith in the knowledge we did everything we could to prepare her for her next steps in life.

I am so thankful for email, text messaging and webcams.

But yet I am still sad. While her life now takes on it's own meaning, it's own direction I feel as if a part of mine dies. No longer can I check on her while she sleeping, or watch her read her book on the couch. I won't hear her laughing with her friends on the phone, or telling her to turn her music down. I've been a mom for 18 years now and quite frankly it's been the best job ever. I'm not sure what to do now. I know I'm not done being a mom, that is my job forever. But it's like I'm being forced into early retirement.